Can you hear the sirens going off?
There is nothing more disturbing than watching your marriage fade away before your own eyes. It hurts. It may even be one of the most hurtful experiences you ever face in your life.
This is serious. Most people don’t pay attention to what is going on in their marriages. Most couples don’t even notice while they’re drifting apart and are suddenly served with divorce papers. So pay close attention, spot the major issues and fix them before it’s too late. Your marriage might not be going as successful as you believe it is.
Happily ever after?
Yes, happily ever after exists only in fairy-tales where Snow White and Prince Charming are living their dream lives. In reality, though, your marriage can go down the hill, without any warning. Taking things for granted in a marriage is one of the biggest mistakes people make. But fear not! There are warning signs that your relationship might be in danger. If your partner says any of the following, you know what to do! Scroll down to check out the list.
Does your partner complain a lot? Is there no excitement left in your relationship? Boredom can crawl into any marriage if you get too comfortable with how things are going. You might need to rethink how your daily routine works out.
Bring the excitement back.
No relationship can go smoothly without some excitement in it. Excitement does not only mean one thing. You need to figure out how to keep that spark going. It might just be the lack of intimacy between you two or maybe all the work that is keeping you from communicating with each other and knowing your needs. Take a break! Reconnect.
“You don’t understand me.”
You argue about the same things over and over again and never seem to clear the air. You both feel like you’re on the losing side and that you often have to defend your position with your partner.
Again, communication is an essential part of any healthy relationship. If your partner is constantly complaining about not being understood, try listening harder and pay attention to what they’re trying to convey.
Hear each other out.
Your partner may feel criticized and suppressed frequently, and this leaves them thinking they’re not ‘good enough’ for you anymore. When you disagree, you barely resolve your problems. You end up blaming each other and failing to compromise or apologize. As a result, you experience differences.
Your spouse might feel as if you cannot be trusted anymore. Trust is the centrepiece of a successful marriage. If there is no trust, do you even know what you are doing here? When you or your spouse start having thoughts of being unfaithful and think more and more about interacting with other people of the opposite gender, your marriage is in trouble. Let’s face it; there is little hope for your marriage to last if your trust level equals to zero.
“Can you stop nagging about the bills and other commitments all the time?”
It’s clear when you argue increasingly and endlessly about financial issues; your marriage is in distress. Sit down, relax, and discuss all your problems one by one. Share your thoughts about the difficulties you are facing concerning household chores and budgets.
Resisting conflict resolution.
It’s normal for a couple to argue from time to time but couples with poor conflict resolution habits typically engage in arguments and fights. It’s just part of what it means to be together. But successful couples can solve problems and let it go. They focus on taking care of the issue rather than attacking the person as unresolved conflict leads to isolation and endangers your marriage. Remember, don’t become friends with resentment.
Discounting fun and relaxation together.
“Remember when we were on our honeymoon…?” Do you actually remember? When did you last smile together?
Does one of you always put your children first above each other? Ever thought about going away for the weekend, just the two of you? Most marriages fail because the couple doesn’t really have anything common left between them. Go camping, drive off to Vegas for the weekend or simply pack up a nice basket of homemade goodies and have a romantic evening at the beach.
Increasing the time you spend apart.
Do you spend time away from your partner? Just imagine how it would feel if you took some time off your busy schedule and actually get to know what is going on in each other’s lives. The more time you’re spending away from your partner, the more chances are that you might drift apart.
Allowing daily hardships and fatigue to destroy your intimacy.
One of the major problems, you feel your marriage in on thin ice, is lack of intimacy. If sexual intimacy in your marriage is low and increasingly non-existent, consider this the weakest point in your relationship and take into account the fact that your marriage might be failing because of this.
The two of you might suddenly be disinterested in sex with each other, be sure to explore the real reasons as one of you might be firing things up in your sex life by avoiding your spouse for another temporary lover. Either way, sexless marriages are a no-go.
Giving in to the predictability.
Is your relationship too predictable? Do you feel like you are going around in circles? Try something new with your partner; explore the boundaries. Add a little spice to your marriage, what’s the worse that could happen? Rest assured, you won’t make a fool of yourself.
Don’t pretend like nothing is wrong. Search for the rough patches and work them out. Many extramarital affairs start when a frustrated spouse turns to a colleague or a friend of the opposite gender for assistance.
Forgetting your commitment to each other.
For better or for worse. That was the vow, right? Well, what could be worse than your marriage falling apart? Don’t forget the feeling you had when you fell in love with each other and why you wanted to get married to this person sitting beside you in the first place. We all want an ideal marriage with no ups and downs. Reality check: nothing is perfect. Commitment is as important as any other thing in a relationship. Stay loyal or stay away.